söndag 24 juni 2012


You can never break a heart, the ego, does it for you. If you feel that your heart has been broken, it's ego that you need to ask. No one can break our hearts, the heart lives day by day and understand what the ego does not understand. You have not broken my heart you have hurt my ego ... the ego is always in front of the heart. Anyone who has suffered most is our ego that needs your love, to be seen.


If your feelings were from the soul, you would have found me, you let me go. If your feelings were true you would have seen your child in me, but you saw it in someone else. The body always wants to go back where it has been, but the soul knows ... I know I can not live with the soul completely out, but I follow it now. When you feel alone and abandoned, you will find a partner to fill your emptiness, your body chooses. Now that I have found my soul, I understand, you meet so many men and you see the look on their face that they want something more ... it's the body they want to give pleasure, they forget that we have a soul. My soul fills me, I don't seek love, I don't seek my soul, I don't seek a father to the future child ... I want to see in your eyes, you ... that you fill yourself with your own love, where I will find myself.

tisdag 19 juni 2012


We see everything as an obstacle or problems in our lives. Other people want to teach you a "lesson" about life .. Want to teach you to live " the right way". Many of us let them do it, even though we are aware that they do it. But eventually, life will show them new perspectives in their lives, that life is not a "lesson" ... Only knowlege. If somebody wants to teach me a "lesson", It feels it´s  more about their ego that cries out for help. Nature has show me this "I am grateful for your advice, but choose to move on".  If I stay, I will be drawn into their obstacles and problems wich does not exist. When I walk alone in nature I understand, that in nature there are is no energy called obstacles, lessons or problems .. Only present, and knowledge. Each footstep in nature brings me closer to myself, to my body, I understands that the body works in the rhythm of nature . When the body receives the same renosance as nature it feels good, you're laughing quietly in an inner harmony.

söndag 17 juni 2012


Will the black dress ever come back ... no, it can never come back it was torn apart and dissolve throug time. The black dress was free, it lived for the day ... memories are there, the feeling is still there, but now it's free. Those hands that tore the dress, was that an act of love or pleasure of the moment .. Those hands could not talk about their innermost desires, they kept quiet in the silence. The black dress knew that those hands would move on to other dresses that were her friends. The dress knew the end was near, it would never be worn again .. who did not wear a black dress sometime in her life..


When everything stands still, I can feel you, you take me in your arms and says, Let no doubt lead you, let the soul lead you, let the soul calm the sea voices. We are here with you, you are you and I am in you ... Let my arms be like the eagle's wings. I see you and you see me ...

fredag 15 juni 2012


What does jealousy with You ... limit the one you "love", the universe always want to have a balance... You can not prevent what will happen. Jealousy makes you slide apart from your partner and you're scaring away the one you "love". Look at me, I want to travel, I want go where I want, have male friends, love my pet, my family... Jealousy will take away all of this things, bit by bit, than you have emptiness. Now I know, if a feel the energy of jealousy I go and do not look back . Every day we make choices, whether it's our or others', we make them. One thing I know now, that no one knows you so well than the person who looks at you every day in the mirror. One day, you sit at a bench an thinking whose choice was it I took, my friend, my mom, my sister ... who .. Then you realize that you have always listened to voices from outside, but never from the inside... your heart.


Four people have left their mark in me and they have been my teachers. Kahlil Gibran is my spirit partner, every time I need to remind the body that there is a soul, his poems pops up. I read them over and over again, when I'm done, I have a red nose and swollen eyes and a joyful soul. Rilke is my spirit friend in the dark, with him, I reach the darkness there everything is calm. Marie Curie is my spirit's sister, she has taught me physics and chemistry of colors, that everything contains a pattern. She showed me that one has a soul husband, when no one did believed in her, her husband was at her side and never hesitated to believe in her dream. They work together, they were two pillars ... they were yin and yang. Anais Nin is my spirit sister she taught me the body's passion, that the body does not need a lot of movement to reach ecstasy. She taught me to listen is better than talking. These people have influenced me and many others, so it is with everyone you meet. Each encounter is unique in your life.


When I am out in nature, I try to blend in, get the same energy that nature has. The deer have taught me not to hesitate, when you encounter a deer get the same energy that he has ... but as soon as your heart hesitates, they run away. The horse pulled out my soul, slowly and carefully, until you feel your soul cries of joy. The question is why you are afraid of horses ... The eagle has shown me who I am, it taught me to fly and see me at all angles. The snake has shown me the ancient power that comes from the earth. The raven has shown me the joy in everything, that everything will work out and I am on the right track. The goose has shown me, you have to speak up more. In nature one finds everything ...

torsdag 14 juni 2012


Today I met a friend of nature, we talked a few hours about nature, she changed my life. She is 18 years but when she talks the soul whispers, when someone changes your life there is no age, race or status. I have been thinking of the food we eat, what am I buying? I am a vegetarian, have been for 19 years, why I do not eat meat .. I do not like meat and my body can not digest meat. She reminded me of animals been slaughtered without care, it is so stressful and we buy a stressed, beaten and tired meat that ends up in our body. Will there be any nourishment in the meet for the body or does it becomes a toxin that creates acid in our body ... What does the acid do to your body, joints, organs and the liquid will not do well in you. This is a thought for me, want to feel good and create better conditions for my body. We all want meat that has been treated with care, that gives us nourishment and not toxins. Why do we create more food than we can eat ... Sugar is like cocaine, we can not live without it, we are dependent on sugar. If you go to the supermarket  everything contains sugar, for me sugar is acid ... I want to remove sugar completely from my food, long way to go. All products containing Aspartame is pure poison to our body. We talked about fishery where they lay their thousands long nets to fish our food, in the net they will be dolphins and old turtles who die in vain and many other marine animals. Why can we not fish in smaller quantities, do we need those quantities of fish ... She made me think about switching to raw food for my wellbeing and my body. As we said "we can not change the world, but we can change ourselves." My soul is filled with joy to meet youngs there the soul whispers in them... You are beautiful Lily, you taught me that ants do not sleep ... they work and work that the elephant drink over 100 liters of water per day ... Thank you! Today my soul spoke :))))


You are my new friend in the forest who loves structure in his life, if you miss a minute then you get "chaos" ... We are like oil and water, but you touch a part of my soul. What you said about the fresh start, that here in Sweden is not my future, only the present. That I have lived many lives here, this is home, but I have to give my old country a chance, where it all began ... like you said ; You have not finished what you started in your old country, provide you and your child a new start, by the way, there will be someone who wants to live with you, but remember that the soul would never whant to own. .. but the body will take care of you. I understand what you mean today, when any man comes and wants to take care of us, it is the body that speaks, the soul wants to be with you. We talked about the relationship, two men have left their mark in my soul, one did search his own love in other women, but he fills my body and my soul, he is and will always be in me. The other fills my soul, but the body is crying, too many memories .. He has always listened to others and to become a "knight" and become a hero is his dream, he will always be in my soul. My only long relationship was of ego, two wounded souls who lived out of their bodies .. who lived in his cave. I dont want to go back. I'm done, have been addicted to this soul in many lives .. everything that was love for others was removed there was only one man you should love. As you said;  He wants you to teach him what love is, he has not worked with himself during all your years together, how can you teach him now ... No, see this as a new journey, where you are free and your child live in freedom. But remember you can never get addicted unless you allow yourself.

onsdag 13 juni 2012


Hey, I have no words to describe what I feel with the gift you want to give me. For several days I have been thinking, you meet a man who does not know you and say I want to give you the baby .. There is a meaning in everything that happens, I was going to say no, because I know you want to become part of the child's life. But today I know, I receive your gift, in your eyes, there was no doubt ... You are a body that lives with his soul, you will always have a place in my soul. To those who think of others, without expecting anything in return ... THANK YOU!


War, ask your soul .. It has seen wars, it has been taking care of the body before the war, during the war and after the war. No one has seen war as the soul has done. I ask you how are you soul after all the wars ... I tell you the body, when your body does experience all the natural shades, then you will know what war has done to me.


We're talking about dictatorships, have we seen how we have it at home .. We talk about loving your neighbor, but do we love ourselves ... We talk about peace on earth, do we have peace within us .. We're talking about donations to poor countries, it is our conscience that we buy off ... We talk about poverty, who are poor, he who thinks or who he is ... We talk about marriage, has marriage status ... We talk about friendship, are you your friend ... We're talking about children, do we take care of our inner child ... We're talking about promises, who owns you and who do you own ... We're talking about the truth, who owns the truth ... We're talking about morality, does nature have morals ... We talk about love, when did love become a word ... I'm talking about myself, who are you ..

söndag 10 juni 2012


There is no doubt, I have known you have been around for years now. I will not carry you, we will be like two pillars. I know you want to be free, you do not want to live in religions, philosophies, color, borders, or doubt. I've lived in all of this, it has given me the skin I have now, but when I was in nothingness was I in everything. My name will not be "mother", it will be the one I got when I came into the world, that is what  you going to say, than you will know my whispered name. There is no doubt, my body is beginning to change to welcome you. I can not take away your pain, but can show you how to look beyond the pain, I can not take away your tears, but can show you what to do with them, when you fall, I can not carry you, but can show you how to rise up .. You will not be my child, you will be a soul who wants to find himself. To you who live in peace..

In my soul there is children

In my soul there is children, this is my soul, body and heart..

Along the way,  I have met men, but never seen it their eyes that they want you to be the mother of their children. The journey has been tough, painful, magical, fun and full of knowledge. For some years I have thought about going to a sperm bank, it took 4-5 years to reach to this decision, I want to be single parent ... to be inseminated. I've read a lot about this and in my soul I feel peacefulness, joy and this is right for now. This is what is called living in the moment :) ... I want to thank you all who donate their eggs and sperm, you do not know how much love, care and pleasure you give us. Thank you for being there, my soul embraces you, thank you!

torsdag 7 juni 2012


One thought that has existed for many years ...

How can you live without food .. I want to learn to live without food, I eat because there is a need. Sure, the food is beautiful to look at, but feel that my body do not cooperate with the food. Who knows it might learn to live without food someday..